Tag Archives: self care

PRINCE CHARMING ISN’T COMING: WHY WOMEN NEED TO GET SMART ABOUT MONEY

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For a long time, it was a man’s job to manage the household finances. If it wasn’t the father, it was the husband or big brother or uncle or grandfather. Any man was good enough for the job. However, they didn’t always do a good job.

 It was almost taboo for women to be involved in money matters, and even though more women are making money today, fewer women are managing or investing. The dilemma is that most women are happy to let the man manage the finances not because they are incompetent but because they find it overbearing and foreign, like a fish out of water. It seems the more things change the more they stay the same.

Prince charming has been the most paralyzing myth that was ever sold to the female species. However, that’s a story for another day. Here are a few reasons why women need to actively take part in money management and investing.

  1. Women have more funds available to them today, by way of salaries inheritance gifts, etc., they have perfected the art of making money. So, they will be getting the money before they get the man.
  2. More women are getting married older. Most will have to manage money for a while before prince charming comes along.
  3. Some women have decided that marriage isn’t a priority. Therefore, they have to manage money.
  4. When the prince finally shows up, he may not have a clue on how to manage money.  He might even show up in a dress looking for a surrogate mother. Hence, the woman will have to take on that duty.
  5. Prince charming might be a fraudster, scammer, narcissistic, or con man and steal all the money.
  6. Divorce is real and some men will be looking forward to alimony payments. ie they want their women to pay them for having married them. There are also a lot of prenups nowadays and some aren’t in the woman’s best interests.
  7. Death happens and women are notorious for outliving their husbands, even their younger husbands. therefore, it’s not a matter of if the woman will be in charge of the household finances, but, a matter of when. unfortunately, most poor women are widows who were well off financially when their husbands were alive.
  8. Women are more likely to take on the responsibility of taking care of older parents and other older family members.
  9. Women tend to have a shorter work life span. due to factors like kids, family, gender discrimination at the workplace, unequal pay, etc
  10. More women are single mothers and have sole parental responsibility for their children. This calls for financial vigilance.
  11. Children are no longer a reliable retirement plan. gone are the days when children felt obliged to take care of their parents. they expect to be fund.

The good news is that women make better money managers. mainly because:

⦁They believe they don’t know enough, therefore; they are eager to learn, they are more attentive, they put in the hours and they do their homework.

⦁ They are more likely to seek expert advice whenever they don’t understand something, unlike their male counterparts who believe that asking equals stupid.

 You are the best person to take care of your finances not because you are the smartest but because you care the most- by Barbara Stanny, author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money

17 Quotes About Money from #GirlBosses | Ellevate

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HOW TO SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

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Sometimes life happens and things aren’t exactly going according to plan. Especially with COVID-19 in our midst things may feel a little off course. When you feel off take a step back breathe, slow down and relax. It’s time to re-plan, not to take things up a notch. It’s time to get yourself mentally out of the chaos and back on track.

These are the 4 steps to shifting your focus.

1. Gratitude

Gratitude and misery do not co-exist. You get rid of misery by being thankful. Being grateful shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have. It places you in a position of abundance and humility instead of lack and entitlement.

Be grateful for family, health weather freedom etc

2.  Pride

Write down or think of things that you are proud of i.e., helping others, creativity, things that you do daily, your achievements, dreams and purpose. This reminds you of who you are and the great things you have accomplished in the past. This takes you from a place of self-doubt to a place of confidence.

Write things you have been through and survived and come out stronger. This places you in a position of strength and confidence. It also reminds you that you are a survivor and not a helpless victim and that its time to thrive.

3. Excitement

Write things you are excited about in your future. If you have nothing come up with something, after all, dreams are free.  Come up with things both big and small that will lift you, it can be going on vacation, having dinner at a posh restaurant or how you will start that business and become super-rich, to fixing your nails or starting a hobby or a project.

This moves you from frustration, stagnation and boredom to excitement happiness and hope.

4. Results

Write results that you are committed to achieving in the next week or 30 days or 3 months. Be it on a personal or professional level. This will give you purpose, something to look forward to instead of just having empty days.

When doing this don’t compare yourself to others. By all means, get inspiration but leave it at that.

Steve Maraboli Quote: “Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” (9 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

HOW TO DECLUTTER AND ORGANIZE YOUR MIND: GET RID OF THE NOISE IN YOUR HEAD

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Sometimes we can have so much going on in one go. It might not be terrible or horrible things happening to us but there can be so much that we need to get done and other things that we are working towards and this can very easily lead to anxiety if not checked promptly.

Below are some of the tips and tactics I have used to declutter and organize my mind.

  1. Find a quiet space where you can meditate and think. If you are unable to find a quiet space then try earplugs. They do make a world of difference. You could also wake up early in the morning when everybody is asleep. This is a perfect time to meditate, pray and plan. You can also light a candle so that you can meditate more deeply.
  2. Have some positive affirmations that you say daily. The best times are before going to bed and in the morning when you wake up. You can also say them at various times during the day. Saying Positive affirmations is how you align your subconscious mind with what you want to achieve for example you can say I am capable of all I set out to achieve. I am strong smart and organized. Peace calm and serenity come to me easily. Remember negative thoughts are Satan’s way of acknowledging that you are onto good things. So, don’t stop, keep going.
  3. Write your goals and prioritize them. I.e. some may be short term or long-term goals. You can always review them at a later date. Be it weekly monthly or yearly. Writing on a book comp or phone gives you a visual picture. It makes it easy for you to prioritize.
  4. Have a plan. i.e. the actions you need to take to achieve your goals. This includes the habits you need to adopt and daily activities you need to undertake to achieve them. Read, watch YouTube videos that are relevant to what you are pursuing. Learn as much as you possibly can.
  5. Don’t waste your time in the name of chilling. There is a difference between relaxing and time-wasting. Indiscriminately watching Tv, social media and gossiping are the biggest culprits. When you are trying to declutter the last thing, you want to do is bring in more clutter and unnecessary noise.
  6. Have a daily to-do list. Written either the day before or early in the morning. So that you can at the very least have a sense of direction. This allows you to have the kind of day you want.  You get to decide how your day goes instead of life just happening and wondering how come time flies so fast.
  7. Be grateful. As cliché as this sounds it’s the quickest way to gain back control and cut out the noise. By being grateful you automatically move away from a place of lack to a place of abundance. It helps you see all the positive things that you weren’t even paying attention to. This gives you the calmness you need to declutter.
  8. Get rid of toxic people. The problem with toxic people is that they just can’t keep quiet. Sometimes all you need to do is get rid of them in whichever way that works for you. Most of the time when bad people leave your life bad things leave with them. And this might be all you need to do to declutter.
  9. Organize your physical space. This goes a long way. It gives you a clean space to sit and think after all your home is a living space, not a warehouse.
  10.  Avoid negative self-talk. Don’t say I am confused. I can’t get anything right. I am overwhelmed. Don’t even say them as a joke or in passing because They can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies

Don’t say to yourself that which you don’t want others to say to you. Treat yourself like someone you care about.