Most new couples will at some point in their relationship find that they have to choose between their families and their spouses. I believe this was the case with Harry and Meghan when they made their decision to back down from active royal duties. Harry was saying to the world that if he has to choose between his wife and the royal family, he is choosing Meghan and their son. Whether or not it is a smart move, it says a lot about his character and that he takes his commitment to his family very seriously.

However, most people will argue that Harry is just a puppet and that Meghan pulls all the strings. Unfortunately, when a man does what is best for his wife, people have a way of blaming the woman for the man’s decision. When a man puts the needs of his wife above his own, society has a way of turning it around and make the man look like he is a weakling. While in reality, it takes a very brave man to stand up for his partner regardless of the backlash he might face. Women have been conditioned to put everyone’s needs above their own. Their needs don’t count, almost as if to say, how dare women have any needs. Most have been brought up to believe that a woman should be in servitude to her family. Women will sacrifice their careers, their time, their sleep, they will neglect their looks, their bodies, some will not even eat until everyone has had their fill. A woman is praised for being strong when she ignores her own needs, but, one can only operate in this mode for so long before they reach a breaking point. 

Meghan was newly engaged, not long after she was newly married and became a mother. These are life-changing events that take a lot from a person and right now her mental health is a top priority. The media didn’t help matters much. Even in her pregnancy, she wasn’t immune from the trolls. They would pick apart her outfits and criticize her for wearing heels and please don’t even get me started on the fact that the media had an issue with her cradling her baby bump. That’s a disgustingly low blow even for a lowlife. A pregnant woman shouldn’t be humiliated or feel embarrassed about how and when she chooses to bond with her unborn child. Whether or not she is a celebrity. 

A man has the duty of providing and protecting his family in all aspects i.e. financially, physically and emotionally. The mental health and happiness of his partner are non-negotiable. If anything threatens their peace and sanity then it has to go. Especially when she is a mother because a child’s happiness is very much linked to their mother’s happiness. 

Someone once said to me, “if I talk to someone and I get a headache, it doesn’t matter whether they are right and I am wrong, that conversation is over.” Looking back, it’s all about having the guts to put yourself first regardless of the consequences. It’s the art of choosing you. There will always be so much of the world and it’s easy to feel lost in it and its expectations. The only person watching out for you is you, and having a partner that chooses you over everyone else is the icing on the cake. 

 #selfcareisntselfish